Sugar, coffee, and everything nice
by launcherofzeroship
Summary: Coffee flavored kiss during the New Year's Eve.


It was New Year's Eve. Module 77 had managed to escape to the neutral territory on the moon, and things had calmed down for a little bit. There would be neither further military confrontations nor governmental activities until the 3rd, making it effectively like the winter holiday. Snow was heavily falling down outside, since it was unanimously decided for them to celebrate a white Christmas last December.

The promised cultural festival didn't come, but they made up to it with the extravagance of Christmas and year end party. Haruto usually spends those two holidays at home together with his family, so the experience was new to him. For the year end party, there were a free flow of (non-alcoholic) drinks and food. Everyone ate, drunk, sang, and be merry. Most notable were the fireworks that Kyuuma had found in the back storage, and lit up together with Yamada. Red, green, and yellow colored the night sky, just like the bloom of giant flowers. Amidst the gasps of wonder, Haruto reflexively glanced to his right, searching for the figure that wasn't there. He didn't know why, but he had the sudden urge to show the sight to_ that_ person. Beautiful things remained beautiful, but with the absence of one particular person, it meant less. He saw something wonderful and his first thought was that he should be there with him. It was not as good without him. He wanted to see L-Elf.

Making use of the distraction, Haruto then quietly slipped away from the crowd. Now, Haruto found himself together in his room with L-Elf. Haruto's room was located on the back, separated from the rest. Due to its convenient location, L-Elf often dropped by when he particularly wanted to seclude himself (or to provide energy for the Valvraves). It would still be another hour before midnight, and he was making coffee for both of them. Haruto always take his with lots of sugar, but L-Elf prefers black. He got the already prepared coffee beans from Takahi and decided to use them, since cooking the year end soba seemed to be too much of a hassle (and didn't guarantee the other party's good response). Now that he thought about it, he couldn't seem to recall the time when L-Elf had consume anything more substantial than coffee. Did he function solely on caffeine? The thought in itself, was rather bizarre.

Holding two steaming mugs of coffee, Haruto then headed to the low table where L-Elf was sitting. He, who was busy reading some official documents, seemed to be the only one that wasn't affected by the holiday spirit. Setting the mugs on the table, Haruto then said, "You know, it is almost New Year."

L-Elf didn't reply and they sat in silence. It was nothing unusual, really. L-Elf would only talk to relay orders or new information, and Haruto had already went past of all the awkwardness that he felt at the very beginning. The silence didn't bother him now, after all they didn't fight or anything. It was just L-Elf doing his thing while Haruto did his. It was on moments like these, that words would only be superfluous.

Thinking about the past year, Haruto wasn't quite sure of his actions and choices. He first took on arms for the sake of Shouko. Time had passed, and Rukino started to become someone incredibly important to him. He deeply regretted the time when he lost control over his powers and did…something unspeakable to her. He tried to make amends, he really did. He asked her to marry him, to make things right to her, but to his desperate plea, she just smiled and replied, "No."

He guessed that he was just simply, wasn't good enough for her. Rukino was an idol that dazzled the whole world. It was only fair, for he would never burn as bright as her. The gleaming star was only meant to be admired from afar, after all. It was selfish and conceited of him to think that he could possibly make amends by simply asking her to marry him. His crime was too heavy, and the sheer guilt of it was crushing him whole. If it wasn't possible to bind himself to her, the least he could possibly do was to stay by her side and protect her, always. To do that, he would have to put all of his interests and feelings in the back burner. He couldn't afford to hurt Shouko on top of it all. So, it would be best for him to keep his distance, close enough to protect, but too far away to pose harm. That was why, when the hunger struck with Rukino offering her blood, he ran away as far as he could. It was to much. He had to get away from her, before history repeated itself again. Thirsting for blood, attacking friends, feeling guilty, and repeat. Introduction, development, turn, and conclusion. Those days without conclusion that was full of turns. It was like being trapped in an endless loop, with him hurting the people that he cared about over and over again.

The things that he loved didn't ruin him; he was the one that ruined them instead. Shouko and Rukino were precious, and therefore, he was afraid. But L-Elf was different. He was strong, smart, dependable, and gave him the reassurance that perhaps…he wouldn't break. L-Elf was strong, stronger that him, so maybe it was okay. Maybe it was okay for Haruto to fight with, feed on, and ultimately, be close to him. If it was with L-Elf, maybe he wouldn't have to worry so much like he did with Rukino and Shouko. L-Elf had the power and willingness to stop him, should Haruto ever lost control again.

It would infinitely better to be on the hurt side that to be the one who did all hurting, at least that was what Haruto believed. He took comfort on L-Elf's capacity to utterly destroy him, if he wished it so. It was said that love was giving someone else the power to destroy you, and trusting that they wouldn't. But the thing that existed between them wasn't love, even though it was still a feeling. The pressure from the hanging sword overhead was too great to bear alone, and Haruto was grateful that he could split the burden with L-Elf. He wasn't Atlas who could single-handedly shoulder the entire sky, he was just plain Tokushima Haruto who was weak, but would keep on trying anyways. He would try to always be on the right path, and if he should ever stray, L-Elf would be the one to end him. Trust, gratitude, and camaraderie, the feeling between them was a kaleidoscopic jumble of human emotions. Choosing just one and giving it a name, would render it meaningless.

They remained in silence for some time, broken only by occasional sips of coffee. He could faintly hear the classical music that now replaced Rukino's idol songs and Yamada's rock, but inside of this room, the world seemed to only be consisted of him and L-elf. It was like being in a tiny bubble of existence, separated from the rest. The feeling was new, but Haruto didn't hate it.

Just before the clock struck twelve, Haruto then scooted a bit closer to L-Elf. L-Elf was still busy with his readings and even he did, he pretended not to notice Haruto's advances. The distance between them was becoming even near and by the time Haruto took notice, he was leaning close to L-Elf….and they kissed.

It was just a light peck, without all the fanfare or passion that was common in the evening dramas, but it was a kiss nonetheless. L-Elf's lips were soft, and his breath warm. _It just felt so natural. _

"….sweet."

L-Elf was still his usual stoic self, and didn't seem to be ruffled by the sudden display of affection in the least.

Haruto himself was also strangely calm, and replied with a smile, "Ah, you did mention something like that once. Coffee is bitter, but with plenty of sugar it would taste just fine."

_You tasted bitter, but not bad tasting._

_I hope you feel the same was as I do._

"Happy New Year."


End file.
